by: Lauren

It seems like it’s a big secret. A faux paus. A bad word even. What exactly am I referring to?

What Weddings Really Cost via TheELD.com

The thing is, what weddings really cost shouldn’t be a secret or seen as a bad word. It would be in everyone’s best interest if everyone just knew the truth, don’t you think? Well, since I’m all about being honest and telling the truth about weddings, it’s time to talk about this little secret that everyone seems so afraid of: weddings cost money!

So let’s start with the basics. A wedding is a celebration of marriage between two people in love. In most cases, a wedding usually consists of a ceremony and a reception. A ceremony requires an officiant and a marriage license. A reception usually has food and alcohol, cake, music, and decorations. And then there are people who are providing various services- a planner, a photographer, a DJ or a band, bartenders, etc. In the most general terms, a typical wedding is composed of products, and services… all of which are meant to be enjoyed, used, and consumed.

Because let’s face it- you have a different set of expectations for your wedding than you would have for a backyard barbecue. You wouldn’t normally have 100+ people over for a party where you supply all the food and drinks and entertainment, right? You don’t normally get all dolled up and put on a long fancy dress for a backyard barbecue, right? A wedding is different from other events, and it really can’t be compared to “just a party” because it’s not the same thing.

What Weddings Really Cost via TheELD.com

Image by Reign 7 Photography

So now that the stage has been set for what makes a “wedding”, let’s get to the money part. All of this started when I was chatting with some single friends about weddings, and why they cost so much. One of them told me that she wanted a simple wedding, just around 80-100 people, and that her boyfriend had already stated he didn’t want to spend more than $10,000. She also mentioned that she understood the need to use professionals and didn’t want to sacrifice that. And she proceeded to ask me, “So what would a wedding like this cost?”

I did some quick calculations, got as far as calculating venue, food, and beverage, and I was at the $10K mark already! Forget about a photographer, a coordinator, flowers, and rentals- there certainly wasn’t room for that in this $10,000 limit!

This 10 minute conversation and quick calculations got me thinking.

We all know that the fewer guests you have, the less you end up spending. But as easy as it sounds, it’s actually *really* hard to have a small number of guests. Case in point: When I was planning my wedding, I got to 100 guests just with family and close friends- and I know many of you are in that same boat. But even when doing calculations for less than 100 guests, I still couldn’t stay within that $10,000 limit. The utter and complete truth is that I can’t figure out how you can have a wedding for this amount without making some extreme sacrifices.

[Full Disclosure: When I was a wedding planner, I never planned a wedding that was under $30,000. This is why you will rarely see me talking about a budget wedding, how to cut corners, how to do things yourself, etc. My expertise is in weddings that use professionals to make them happen. I will be the first to tell you that I don’t know budget weddings, and I know it can be done, but I myself would not be able to do a wedding for under $15,000. This is likely because I believe in hiring professionals and I know what things actually cost for a wedding.]

But this isn’t about having a wedding for $10,000- it’s about what weddings really cost, and why they cost what they do!

Now don’t go and crucify me. I’ve seen weddings that happened for less than $15,000- I know it can happen. But in all these cases, something had to give… or more specifically, someone

The wedding took place in the backyard of a couple’s home or a friend’s home. The photographer was a cousin who had a decent camera- but the couple never got the photos. The food was made by an aunt– and she was stressed beyond measure, spent all day cooking but still ran out of food, and won’t remember her niece’s wedding day without going into a panic attack. The bride’s best friend is an interior designer and handled all of the decor. The groom’s brother is a graphic designer.

I’m not saying that because you have a wedding in your backyard or your aunt makes your food it’s not a wedding. I’m just saying that something was sacrificed and/or someone helped out. All of these things I just mentioned- if you do have family and friends who can help you with these items, it’s a wonderful blessing and you are SO lucky- because you can end up spending less on your wedding.

What if you don’t have family and friends to help out? 

Or what if you don’t *want* to have to sacrifice something? 

 

These are very real possibilities my friends, and I know that some of you are probably facing this very issue right now. Heck, this was the very same situation I was in when it came to planning my own wedding, and the friend I mentioned above? She also doesn’t have family and friends who can offer anything to help out. The answer to this dilemma?

Hire professionals.

 

Now, it’s definitely no secret that I 100% support the hiring of professionals for a wedding. I believe in supporting small businesses. I believe that when someone makes a living doing something every weekend and has experience way beyond what you could ever imagine, you should pay them for that. Why not pay someone who knows what they’re doing, instead of trying to wing it and stress yourself-and everyone else- out? Well, lots of people actually end up not hiring professionals for their weddings because they’re trying to save money- but it almost always ends up in disappointment.

So with that base established, let’s get to the juicy details of what weddings really cost!

What Weddings Really Cost via TheELD.com

It’s important to understand that wedding costs are all relative, because it depends on LOTS of specifics- not everyone has the same exact wedding, right? Number of guests, what kind of food you’re having, location, types of centerpieces, types of linens, what kind of rentals… I could go on for days. But no matter what your total budget is, I’ve found that when you break it all down, it starts making a bit more sense as to why a wedding “costs so much”.

Let’s go back to the beginning of this post, when I mentioned the various elements that make up a wedding. Even if you set a max budget for your wedding, you’re not just paying $10,000 or $20,000 to any one person. Because for a wedding to happen, it takes a combination of several different products and services.

What Weddings Really Cost via TheELD.com

So I thought that perhaps it would help you all understand this concept a little better if we broke down these various elements and showed what a typical wedding for 100 guests would cost.

To do this, I asked wedding planners of The V List from all over the country to provide me with a broad estimation of what a “simple and pretty” wedding for 100 people using professionals would cost for their area. They each used the same elements that I’ve shared below:

Venue Rental
Food and Beverage
Rentals (Basic needs)
Florals & Decor (Simple centerpiece of single stem of tulips in various vases; bridal party of 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen)
Linens (Basic)
Photographer
Cinematography
Month-of Planner
Transportation
Entertainment
Hair & Makeup (Bride only)
Cake
Paper Goods
Ceremony Costs

[Note: Attire is not included in these estimations since the dress is often considered a “special circumstance” when it comes to budgeting. This also includes the bride’s accessories.]

I’m sharing all of this information because when it comes down to it,

the big issue that people run into with weddings is budget versus expectations.

 

Because really- how can you budget for something if you don’t know what things should cost? That’s just crazy! Sure, you can say that you want to spend $X, but what happens when you find out that you can’t get anything for that amount?

What Weddings Really Cost via TheELD.com

Below are estimations for what a “simple” 100 person wedding would cost in cities across the United States. Click on each link to be taken to that area’s estimation.

 Central Florida || Tampa || South Florida || Florida Panhandle || Jacksonville, FL

Dallas || Atlanta || New Orleans || North Carolina

Washington DC || New York City || Eastern Pennsylvania

Southern California || Santa Barbara || Ventura

 

My aim in providing this information is for everyone to be educated about weddings and armed with knowledge of what to expect. So maybe one day, couples’ wedding expectations can finally start living up to their wedding dreams!

 

If you clicked through to any of the above estimations, you can see that sadly, we’re not living in Candyland. Even though a wedding is a happy time, filled with beautiful things, this unfortunately doesn’t mean that the normal rules of society and capitalism don’t apply. Yes, weddings are expensive. But it’s because you’re paying for products and services, just as you would pay for anything else. And not only that, but your wedding is one day that you will remember for the rest of your life. What you do for your wedding day, what you spend, and how you remember it is in your hands. So now take this information, and go plan the wedding that will be perfect for you and your future spouse! 

 


 

I’d love to hear from you about all of this! What is your perspective on the cost of weddings? Have you learned anything while planning your wedding that has changed your outlook?

What Weddings Really Cost via TheELD.com

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON WEDDING PRICING AND BUDGET, CLICK HERE!

 

*This post was originally post in January 2014, and has since been revamped and updated.

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What Weddings Really Cost via TheELD.com

Lauren

Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail
Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.

19 responses to What Weddings Really Cost

We love your comments, but please remember to keep them kind and positive, as this is a place for inspiration and sharing information. We have the right to remove or not approve any negative or harmful comments.
  1. Damaris Mia // Le Magnifique Blog (just curious)

    This is so good! Will definitely be sharing this.

    I was one of those brides who had family who helped out. My husband and I got married in our church (Southern California) by our pastor (no fee) and had our reception in a hotel ballroom (the food + appetizers for 450 people cost us $25,000 – however, I do want to mention that we had a package that also included chair covers and a cake from an amazing bakery). We had to pay for parking at the venue so rather than have our guests pay for it, we did – it was like a total of $1,400. The florals were done by my a couple of my aunts who are florists (all I paid for were the flowers and vases from the flower market in LA). The photographer was a cousin who does photography for fun (charged us $700) – the quality of images were GREAT, however, I didn’t get some of the photos I wanted. Paid $700 for our invites which were beautiful and simple – got a discount on them from our bridal shop. My Alfred Angelo dress (which was absolutely beautiful) was $700 (on sale!) – I didn’t go in there looking for a gown on sale.. I found the gown online and fell in love.. first dress I tried on and I was sold. However, the veil cost me like $300 though. Lol. I did my own make-up (it was supposed to be done by an acquaintance who bailed the night before but I did a great job). Another friend did my hair (she’s done my hair on certain occasions) – didn’t charge me. Decor was minimal because we had a pretty space to work with. We did splurge on two limos – a vintage 1957 white Packard limo for the wedding and then a Hummer limo for the “after party” we did with our bridal party where we drove from OC to The Griffith Observatory in LA to the Santa Monica Pier (SO MUCH FUN).

    Looking back, we didn’t really have a set budget. His parents paid for the wedding and my parents helped pay for a few things (they took care of our engagement party). And we paid for what we could (like the limos and florals).

    It was a great day spent with our family and friends (and parents’ friends).

  2. Rebecca (a Vendor)

    Thank you Lauren for sharing! It is really difficult sometimes to express to clients that “you get what you pay for” mentality. Although my business is growing, it took me a really long time to walk away from clients who had the expectations of using “weekend “pro’s” to do their weddings. It *is* an important event, and it *is* a different kind of party.
    As a planner in Seattle, I would like to add to your budget break-down for the PNW region. This is using pro’s that are reliable, great customer service, but the lowest costs I know of here.
    Venue: $2,000
    Food and Beverage: $6,o00
    Rentals: $500
    Floral and Decor: $1,900
    Linens: $300
    Photographer: $4,500
    Month-of Planner: $2,000
    Transportation: $700
    Entertainment: $1,700
    Hair and makeup: $400
    Cake: $700
    Paper Goods: $800
    Ceremony Costs: $600
    Total estimated cost $22,100

    Appreciate you bringing light to *weddings cost money!* Appreciate your blog!
    Rebecca

  3. Krisstin | On the Go Bride (just curious)

    Such a good breakdown of everything that goes into a wedding and why. I’m all for hiring professionals and it’s great to see what weddings will cost in different cities. Great advice and such a useful tool for brides!

  4. Chris Wheaton (a Vendor)

    Videography/cinematography is a necessary edition to this list!

    • Lauren

      Chris and Ryan, you will be happy to know that I have added the cinematography in. Was trying to stick to the most basic elements that a bride would need, but I definitely think everyone should have a wedding video too! :)

  5. Ryan (a Vendor)

    I second Chris’ comment above. I am obviously biased, but for my own wedding photo and video went hand in hand. Our two biggest expenses from our wedding, and the two most worth it to us. :)

  6. Christie O. {Mountainside Bride} (just curious)

    This is good stuff Lauren and I have certainly echoed your sentiments on my own blog. If you want a party, have a party; if you want a wedding, that’s an entirely different price point.

    But I’d like to also add that if you’re on a budget, blogs like this one may not be the place for you to get your inspiration. There are plenty of budget wedding blogs out there that will cater to a $10,000 budget. I’ve seen $1000 weddings in on the internet. You’ll get an good idea of what a budget wedding looks like or what details are left out. It’s not that you can’t have a wedding for 10,000; it’s that you can’t have a *certain* kind of wedding at that price point.

    I went to a $15,000 wedding a couple of years ago and it was lovely, but she had a lot of help from friends and family to make it happen.

    I also went to a $100 wedding once. It was called an elopement, and it included me and my husband as witnesses while a judge married out dear friends in his office. She didn’t even carry a grocery store bouquet. They are still married after 8 years, proving that the size and style of your wedding will not make you a happier couple.

    So while I agree with Lauren about a wedding NOT being a birthday party, I would also advise her friend with the $10,000 that she might need to scale back on her expectations. Maybe she finds a simpler venue. Maybe she hires a DJ instead of a band. Perhaps she scales back on the cake, or cocktail hour appetizers. Or maybe she pushes her wedding date back until she can afford the wedding of her dreams. The point is, every bride has options. It may not be fun to prioritize, scale back, or wait and save money, but sometimes that’s what it takes.

    An thus, I would like to welcome all brides on a tight budget to the world of compromise. You and your new husband will be doing it a lot moving forward. Really that’s how you grow :-)

  7. Elaine Way (a Bride)

    Why is the officiant often left off of these lists? You know, you can’t get married without an officiant? I have been a wedding officiant in Seattle, WA for 6 years and I come across this over and over. Without an officiant, it’s just a party….not a legal marriage.

    • Lauren

      Elaine, the officiant is included in the “Ceremony Costs” item :)

  8. Samuel Fleming (a Vendor)

    Thanks for this post Lauren,

    I found this from our WPIC board here in Canada. I have clients that give me their budget for DJ, MC, sound and lighting all the time, usually under half of what we charge. Educating our couples and clients as to where they spend their money. When flowers are $5000, and the veggie platter is $1200 and the entertainment is $800, they may have placed value on categories that really add little value to the success and final result of a great party.

  9. Danielle Capito Photography (a Bride)

    This is great Lauren! I’d be really interested to hear what an average California wedding costs too!

  10. Nina Minichetti (a Vendor)

    I love this article! Thank you for clearly explaining the value of experience and knowledge in a vendor’s trade. I am also planning my wedding this year and I know the realities of a wedding budget!

  11. Meghan (a Bride)

    This is a great article, I know I was in “sticker shock” when I was planning my wedding. However, it’s (hopefully) a once in a lifetime experience & we decided not to let that limit us in what we felt was important, and I am so happy with the outcome! One thing I had on the “cut list” was cinematography but decided to keep it in the end. You have to keep in mind, if you think you’re going to be disappointed after for not doing something, then do it! Because you can not go back in time.

  12. Lauren (a Bride)

    “We’re starting a new life together! HEY LET’S SPEND ALL OUR MONEY ON THE VERY FIRST DAY!”

    Not my wedding. I just want a nice little bonfire party with a few close friends, a keg of good beer & friends with guitars. I may make a few decorations myself. I don’t see the point in spending so much money on a wedding. Or having people “help you”. If you wanna help me get married, put that money in a savings account for me instead of a bunch of flowers that are going to live maybe a week, tops. We’re starting a LIFE together. I’d rather focus on the lIFE part. Not the one day.

  13. Christina (a Vendor)

    What a great article! I love seeing the difference in cost in the different regions. As a planner in Oklahoma and Texas I would love to add a reference to brides that may be looking at the area, but not have an idea what a wedding may cost.
    I also do not plan budget weddings, but this estimate is done on a very conservative budget.

    Venue: $3,500
    Food and Beverage: $15,o00
    Rentals: $750
    Floral and Decor: $2,700
    Linens: $760
    Photographer: $3,500
    Month-of Planner: $2,000
    Transportation: $700
    Entertainment (DJ): $1,000
    Hair and makeup: $500
    Cake: $900
    Paper Goods: $800
    Ceremony Costs: $600
    Total estimated cost $32,710

    Kindly,
    Christina L. Frederick
    Owner – Christina Leigh Events

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  15. Paige (a Bride)

    Our wedding, which was lovely and was chosen as one of your Top 25 Weddings of 2014 and was featured in a bridal mag, didn’t come even CLOSE to exceeding a $5k budget. Though the majority of weddings do go way over the top, the focus should be on the marriage and not a $700 transportation budget or a $900 cake. It is completely COMPLETELY possible to have a beautiful and meaningful wedding on a fraction of the budgets mentioned. I would hate for any bride to believe the hype that everything a magazine mentions is essential to a happy wedding and marriage…or that the more lavish a wedding is, the more successful a marriage might be. I just wanted to give another perspective for those brides out there who might be feeling like a great wedding day is unattainable based on these budget numbers.

  16. Sasha (a Vendor)

    I do have to say I love this post so much, because it is truly informative (as are all of your posts!). Looking over the Tampa budget however, I can say that even for a “simple and pretty wedding of 100 guests,” there may just be a typo on the florals and decor portion, as most are well over $2000-$2500 just starting off! But overall, pretty accurate!

  17. Pingback: What Weddings Really Cost | Wedding Wednesday | Bobbi Brinkman Photography » BobbiBrinkmanPhotography.com

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