by: Lauren

Chances are pretty good that if you are engaged and starting to plan your wedding, the thought of a wedding planner has probably crossed your mind. If you’re like most couples, you probably immediately disregarded the thought, because you think it will be too expensive, or because you feel like this:

“We don’t want to hire a wedding planner because we want to plan the wedding ourselves.”

I’ve actually heard this statement made many times, and it has made me realize that there is a huge misconception about wedding planners and what they do. Well friends, if you know anything about us at Every Last Detail, you know that we really don’t like misconceptions, so the truth is…

A wedding planner does not plan your wedding- YOU DO!

A Wedding Planner Does Not Plan Your Wedding... You Do! via

I want to tell you today that having a wedding planner isn’t about having someone make all the decisions for you.

Having a wedding planner is about having someone who knows what they’re doing, who can help you, and who will plan your wedding ALONGSIDE you.


Because chances are pretty good that you’ve never planned a wedding before and you don’t quite know what to do. Weddings are a fun, exciting world, but they’re also tricky and a huge unknown. It’s okay to seek knowledge and help when entering upon this unknown world. Really, it is- it’s what you would do in any other new situation, right?! :)

So with that said, I wanted to elaborate a bit more about why a wedding planner doesn’t necessarily plan your wedding for you. I think many people still have that vision of the wedding planner seen in movies or on TV, handling every single detail of a wedding and taking over the whole entire wedding.

I’m going to ask you to throw that vision away- forget you ever saw it.

Gone are the days of wedding planners only being hired by brides with million dollar budgets, and gone are the days of the wedding planner who takes everything over. [Note: Yes there are some wedding planners that will plan the whole entire wedding but that is usually the bride’s preference, and comes a very high price tag.]

A wedding planner’s job is to help you plan your wedding.


You don’t have to be concerned about whether or not you’ll actually be able to plan your own wedding, because you will still be making all of the decisions and be a very active participant in planning your wedding. The only difference is that you will just have help doing it! For example- a planner may provide you with recommendations for vendors, but the decision is yours. You will still research the vendors, meet with the vendors, and hire the vendors, but it’s the guidance from your wedding planner that makes the difference.

There is of course way more a planner will do for you beyond recommending vendors, and to avoid going into a the big long list of what a wedding planner does, I highly recommend that you read this post. (I would have just listed everything for you, but there are just way too many things!)

Something important to remember about wedding planners is that they are all different. They will have different packages, different styles, and different personalities. This is an AWESOME thing though, because that means that there is absolutely going to be a planner who will be perfect for you, your fiancé, and your wedding! Choosing the right wedding planner to help you in your wedding planning process will be best decision you will ever make while planning. I promise!

So the bottom line is this…

[Tweet “Guess what… you are definitely still planning your own wedding if you have a wedding planner!”]

When you have a wedding planner, you will be planning your wedding with knowledge, guidance, connections, and experience on your side! I don’t know about you, but that sounds a whole lot better than planning a wedding and being absolutely clueless and stressed out- don’t you agree?

I’d love to hear from you all about this- have you decided for or against a wedding planner? What are your reasons?

We also recommend reading…

A Wedding Planner Does Not Plan Your Wedding... You Do! via A Wedding Planner Does Not Plan Your Wedding... You Do! via A Wedding Planner Does Not Plan Your Wedding... You Do! via A Wedding Planner Does Not Plan Your Wedding... You Do! via

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Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail
Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.

7 responses to A Wedding Planner Does Not Plan Your Wedding… You Do!

We love your comments, but please remember to keep them kind and positive, as this is a place for inspiration and sharing information. We have the right to remove or not approve any negative or harmful comments.
  1. Elizabeth (a Bride)

    I completely agree with everything above! I’m the one (along with my fiancé) planning just about every detail of my wedding. I found my venues, know exactly what I want the cake to look like, etc, but my planner has really helped me stop and think “ok, logistically is this possible to pull off within your budget?”. And the crazy part is that I’ve planned other weddings, but when it comes to my own there are a few places where I can’t see the forest for the trees. For example, I didn’t realize that I had two very different looks on my Pinterest board- one very whimsical and ethereal and the other very Kate Spade inspired and much more bold. I didn’t even recognize that. She has helped me to define and narrow my vision so my wedding day doesn’t look like a disjointed hodgepodge of pretty, shiny things. Also, I am so thankful that from the moment my first guest arrives for the weekend I can turn off my planning switch and just be a bride. I have faith in my planner and my vendors, and after an almost two year engagement, I am confident they know what to make happen.

  2. Cristen of Captivatingly Chic (a Vendor)

    Thank you so much for this post Lauren!! As a wedding planner I have to completely agree with everything you said in this post! I actually went to school for a degree in Event Management specifically specializing in weddings and special events so I could have the knowledge and experience in making sure weddings go without a hitch and be able to guide all of my clients in the right direction and helping them make the right decisions. Yes, I have the bride’s that want me to plan their entire wedding but I also have the couples that want to have fun and be a part of the process without the headache of logistics! We, as planners are all very different in regards to style, personality and wedding packages which makes all of us special and unique and there is certainly a planner and designer out there for every couple! There are many planners like myself that will customize packages for clients so don’t hesitate to call us, we will make something work for you and your big day!!

  3. Ashley (a Vendor)

    I absolutely love this post, just vital information! Job well done ! Check out the “Wedding Do’s & Don’ts ” on my blog if you get the chance !

    Thanks !

  4. Karen (a Bride)

    This is really smart and a great post Lauren. Always good to hear your insight. That’s one thing as a planner I have always let people know…..that they are in control every step of the way during planning, I don’t make decisions for them…I give them options/pricing and they ultimately choose what they feel is best with my guidance. Great job!

  5. M (a Bride)

    Hi, there! Love your insight and clarity! Fun to read. Personally, as a bride, I chose not to hire a wedding planner, largely because of my “Type A” personality. I thrive in the details of things, and I found it hard to believe that even with pictures and descriptiveness, a wedding planner could actually envision how I wanted the day to look and go. If this makes sense, how I look at it is: I know my vision inside and out, and can say yes and no at the right time and make decisions, and if I make a mistake, it’s on ME. So then I have to deal with that just like other times in life but at least it’s not someone else’s fault. Now if I leave even a detail up to a wedding planner and something doesn’t get communicated or he/she doesn’t understand the vision as well as I thought, then it’s “theoretically” on that person yet I’m the one who loses because it’s not their wedding day, and they still get the money. Not to mention, I’ll be honest, if I could indeed take on all of the work myself and have it turn out just how I’d like, why would I hire a planner? In other words, I know I’m not a literal professional, but I’m not afraid to ask questions–I will research until I find the perfect vendors for each function or piece of the day, and still incorporate DIY pieces that I know I can do myself (i.e. Calligraphy). I kind of don’t mesh well with prideful people so please know that I’m not trying to come off as arrogant. I actually suck at a good handful of things in life and did experience stress during my wedding planning. But at the end of the day, I felt it would have been more stressful to have someone else involved; and if that’s the way a bride feels, then maybe she should consider a less-involved wedding planner, but then what’s she really paying for anyway? I even considered just a day-of coordinator, but I had a detailed (like down to 5-minute intervals at times) schedule for the wedding party for the day-of, outlining specific jobs for certain people and who needed to be where with what outfit or floral arrangement, etc., and confirmed with each vendor as to when and where they were needed, etc., and truthfully, all went as planned. Maybe I got lucky?? Maybe a wedding coordinator would’ve allowed me to do less work, but then by the time you’re communicating to them all that you want listed in the schedule and everything, shouldn’t you might as well do it yourself?? I think it’s possible that some brides just aren’t meant to have wedding planners. Do you agree or disagree? Would LOVE to know your opinion because it is a concept I wrestled with when I started planning!
    All my best.

  6. Alice (a Vendor)

    Perfect!… Thank you for stating what I have always thought about!… So much tradition and etiquette have been pushed by the wayside that today’s brides really have no clue…I plan on sharing this with my current and future brides!… I enjoy your posts…even after 28 years as a consultant I can always find something new and refreshing in your posts!

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