All week there has been talk about love and hearts, and rightfully so, since today is Valentine’s Day! Between my rebrand, the new year, and moving soon, I’ve been doing A LOT of thinking- and so much of that thinking has come down to what is in my heart and soul. I’ve written a few “posts” as the result of this lately, but alas, haven’t posted any of them. So I figured what better day than Valentine’s Day to bare my heart and soul to you all…

Image By The Robinsons

As I close in on nearly 3 years of blogging full time, I’ve been doing tons of thinking, re-working, and reassuring. You see, not only have I been full time for 3 years supporting myself and my husband, but I’ve also chosen to take a different path than what the usual “wedding blog” path entails. Early on, I knew that I wanted my “audience” to be brides who were like me. Brides who wanted to know the facts, were working with professionals, and were spending over $20,000 on their wedding. Luckily, this was also the bride I worked with when I was planning weddings, so it really wasn’t difficult for me to pinpoint.

Since I have a personal connection to what I’m doing and why I do it, this also means that I have a lot of myself invested into my business. And while I’m trying to achieve something very specific, and so many say that that they appreciate it, there are still times that I just feel plain defeated and hopeless. I think it could be because I have so much of my heart and soul invested into what I’m doing, and all of the business books warn against doing so. But I know that I would have never have even started blogging if it weren’t for my heart being involved- and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So now I’m going to be super honest and open (if you follow me on Instagram, you probably already know that I’m all about being transparent). Being a full time wedding blogger is not easy. When I started full time, I thought I would get to look at pretty pictures all day, write awesome posts all the time, send a few emails, and it would be the absolute best. It’s still the absolute best, but it has not been an easy road. I joke that blogging full time is just glorified sales, but it’s not a joke- it really is all about sales. I make money from advertising and marketing, and while it’s something that I truly love doing, it’s also quite draining and nonstop. But at the same time, I still have to go through submissions, send tons of emails, and oh yeah- blog too. (The funny thing is that the least amount of my time is actually taken up by blogging.) I now understand why most wedding publications have sales people, although I myself don’t think I ever will. Needless to say, over the past 4 years- and lately more than ever- I’ve learned that a wedding website is not meant to be run by just one person.

Image By The Robinsons

And for some extreme honesty now… the past 2 months have been full of defeat and hopelessness for me. It could have something to do with some big changes coming up for my husband and I- next week we’re moving back to our hometown for him to (hopefully) start his career as a chiropractor. It could be because I’ve been comparing myself to others who DO have teams running their sites and who have a totally different audience than I do- which I know I just shouldn’t do. It could be because I’ve been doing lots of research, and have discovered the reason for why larger wedding sites have so much more traffic than I do. While it’s been good to know and reassure myself, it’s also a little defeating for me- bittersweet I suppose. Or it could be that the “new year” didn’t quite meet my expectations. I haven’t been able to pinpoint any single thing causing my feelings of defeat and hopelessness- perhaps it’s just the culmination of everything.

But this isn’t me giving up- this is just me sharing. Because honestly, when I don’t share, I feel like I’m hiding something and I can’t sleep at night. Of course I’ll keep pushing through, keep trying to make ends meet, and keep going (or “#justkeepswimming” as I put in so many of my Instagram posts). Next weekend will start a whole new chapter for my husband and I (sadly, including leaving my home office above), and while everything is still very up in the air, I’m hopeful that this new chapter will be exactly what I need.

So now that I’ve bared my heart and soul, I suppose I can proclaim that it’s my life goal to educate and inspire brides. I started Every Last Detail with the hopes that I could help other brides avoid the same mistakes that I made when planning my wedding. Somewhere along the way, this goal also evolved into helping wedding professionals. Luckily, it’s helping brides and wedding professionals that keeps me going. There are so many things that I want to do to achieve this goal of helping brides and wedding professionals, and I hope that one day I can actually do them all! For the time being, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, and keep pushing forward. :)

And so there you have it- my heart and soul on this lovely Valentine’s Day. :) I’d love to hear from y’all… what is YOUR heart and soul? What keeps you going?