by: Lauren

This week’s {Tuesday Tips} comes to us from my dear friend Jamie of WeddObsessed. I think the title pretty much speaks for itself- these are GOOD things to know. :)


10 Things not to say to the Bride in the days before her wedding…


A bridesmaid is typically a special friend or relative whom the bride can rely on for support, help and general love throughout the wedding planning process and wedding day. While there are probably many lists of detailing what you SHOULD do and say as a bridesmaid, here is a list of 10 things you should NOT say or do to the bride before her nuptials:


10. ‘Do you have an extra pair of silver shoes I can wear with my bridesmaid dress?’


Why this is a bad idea: If the bride has given you a requirement for shoes/hair/make-up etc, you should take care of getting those items WELL before the day before her wedding. Asking her if she can lend you one of those items that close to the wedding may make her doubt your preparedness as one of her ‘maids.


9. ‘I know I RSVP’ed to your wedding alone, but I just met a great guy last week on the bus, can I bring him as my date?’


Why this is a bad idea: Generally speaking, brides are required to give their caterers their count a week in advance. Not only does changing her count add to the amount of money she is spending on her reception, but adding a date at the last minute is in poor taste. If you haven’t been dating your new guy for at least a month, avoid this question.


8. ‘My flight is scheduled to arrive one hour before the ceremony; can you come pick me up at the airport?’


Why this is a bad idea: First of all, as a bridesmaid, you should try to be at the rehearsal the day before the wedding so you know what is going on. Of course there are emergency reasons why you wouldn’t be getting to the wedding literally until you walk down the aisle, but asking the bride to head to the airport on her wedding day is just plain wrong! You don’t want to miss out on all the bonding activities you’ll share with her and your fellow bridesmaids!


7. ‘I know that I told you that you could borrow my veil, but I forgot it.’


Why this is a bad idea: If a bride asks to borrow something from you for her wedding day, it is of UTMOST importance that you remember to bring it. As a friend, the sentimentality that went into her asking you to contribute her ‘something borrowed’ is HUGE and you don’t want to mess that up! J


6. ‘I tried to write my speech for the reception, but couldn’t think of anything to say, so I’ll just wing it.’


Why this is a bad idea: As a friend and bridesmaid, putting time and thought into your speech should be something you make a TOP priority. Take time to write meaningful and loving words that you want to share with the bride, groom and their guests. A bad speech is something almost EVERYONE remembers and NOT for good reasons!


5. ‘I need to leave right after the ceremony for an appointment, is it okay if I miss the reception?’


Why this is a bad idea: When you say ‘yes’ to being a bridesmaid, you are essentially agreeing to be a part of your friends experience with her wedding. The reception is a HUGE part of the wedding day, and you’ll make so many memories with the bride and groom while dancing the night away. Not something you should want to miss!


4.‘I am so excited, I got my hair dyed to match the blue hydrangeas in our bouquets!


Why this is a bad idea: Your friends wedding may not be the best time to get experimental with hair colors. Unless the theme of the wedding is ‘circus clowns,’ I would save the blue hair for less formal occasions (unless, of course, the bride herself is opting to go with a fun color herself!)


3. ‘I know you put me in charge of making our hair appointments for the wedding, but the salon didn’t have any openings, do you have a plan b?


Why this is a bad idea: Planning a wedding can be so detail heavy that some really brave brides may delegate jobs to people they REALLY trust. If you have been asked to do something for the wedding, make CERTAIN that you stay on top of it. If you can’t accomplish what the bride has asked you to do, TELL HER right away! 6 bridesmaids and a bride with no hair appointments could be tragic…


2. ‘I didn’t like the top you chose for our gowns, I hope you don’t mind I picked another one.’


Why this is a bad idea: The bride chose the top she chose for a reason, you should never under any circumstance take it upon yourself to change what you are wearing without talking with her FIRST. If you are uncomfortable in your dress, I can assure you that the bride will want to help, but that’s not a decision you spring on her while you are all getting ready for the ceremony.


1. ‘I hope my bridesmaid dress fits, I never tried it on.’


Why this is a bad idea: An ill-fitting bridesmaid dress will haunt the bride forever more in her pictures! Most bridesmaid dresses come in standard sizes and often have to be tailored to fit each girl’s body type. Do yourself a favor, the moment you receive your dress, try it on, call a seamstress and have it steamed. You’ll look fabulous for the wedding if you do!


See, didn’t I tell you? GOOD. All I have to say is every bride should just print this out and give it to all of her bridesmaids at the get-go. :) Thank you for sharing these tips with us Jamie!


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Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail
Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.

2 responses to {Tuesday Tips} 10 Things Not To Say To A Bride…

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  1. Annie @ Marry You Me

    Good tips! I actually heard some version of numbers 1, 9 and 10 from some of my bridesmaids (and my MOH! ) in the week before my wedding!

  2. Kathryn

    Yes, yes, and yes! couldn’t agree more on #6…a few suggestions we’ve found helpful along the way (and one example of How Not to Give a Speech):

    And as far as bridesmaid etiquette for The Day Of, we stick to these wise words, too:

    Thanks for sharing these ideas! We’ll pass them along to our readers, too!

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