by: Lauren

Goodness, I still can’t believe that Christmas is THIS WEEKEND! I’m sure some of you are in the same boat too! Well, with the holidays that are literally just around the corner (in this case, the corner of Friday and Saturday… lol), that also comes time with family, and with that comes QUESTIONS!

I remember when I was engaged during the holidays (and tomorrow actually marks 4 years since my husband proposed!). It was quite overwhelming with all of the questions that my family and friends asked me when I went home. We went from that question that plagues you when you’ve been dating for a while, “So when are you going to get married?” to “So how’s the wedding planning going?” Well, when I was newly engaged, I hardly had any answers, and then when I had been engaged for a year already, I still didn’t quite know what to tell family members when they asked how the wedding planning was going. And so, I thought today I would give you all a few tips to help you deal with those questions from family members that you may encounter this holiday season!


How is the wedding planning going? When is the wedding?

JUST Engaged: This is going to be the first question someone will ask you once they’ve congratulated you and looked at your ring. If you don’t already have a venue and date BOOKED, just say that you’re just getting started or still looking. If you DO have your venue and date booked, then feel free to tell inquiring minds- but ONLY if you’re confident that you will be inviting them.

Engaged & Planning: If you’ve been engaged for a few months already, you should have your venue and date already. Go ahead and feel free to tell your family members all about when and where it is… just be sure you’re definitely inviting them before divulging all the details! And then when they ask you how everything is going, talk their ear off about how you’ve found the perfect photographer and how much Pinterest and Every Last Detail are helping you to plan your wedding. ;)

Do you have everything done?

JUST Engaged: Clearly you DON’T have everything done, because you’re newly engaged! It’s going to be overwhelming with people asking you about things and telling you what to do and not do. To avoid stressing while trying to enjoy your holiday, be sure to tell your family and friends that you want to enjoy your engagement for a little while before you jump head first into the planning. They’ll back off. :)

Engaged & Planning: At this point, this question may or may not send you in a nervous frenzy thinking about all of the things you have left to do. If it does do this, respond with a polite, “There is so much to do, but we’re making great progress on everything!” If the question doesn’t make you start sweating, go ahead and talk their ear off about all things wedding. Are you seeing a pattern here? Let’s call it the Cardinal Rule of wedding questions: talking their ear off. ;)

Thursday Tips: Holidays & Family Questions! via TheELD.comPhoto by ELV photographer, Shay Cochrane

Do you have your dress?

JUST Engaged: Again, it’s not expected that you have this done if you’ve JUST gotten engaged. But chances are that you’ve started looking at dresses online and in magazines, so feel free to answer with what types of dresses you like, all of the amazing designs that are out there now, and when you’re planning on shopping for your dress. Refer to the Cardinal Rule above.

Engaged & Planning: You probably DO have your dress. If your fiance isn’t around, go ahead and tell them all about it. Cardinal Rule it up (are my husband and I the only people who use that term of “verb it up”?). If your fiance is around, use him as the excuse for just saying that you do (or don’t) have it. :)

How many bridesmaids are you having? Who are your bridesmaids? Who’s going to be your flower girl? Ring bearer? Ushers? Etc Etc

JUST Engaged: I strongly suggest that if you haven’t already decided on this, say just that- that you haven’t decided yet. I’m sure people will have suggestions for you for who they think would be good for the “jobs”, but just say thank you for the suggestions and move on. :)

Engaged & Planning: You probably already have all the answers to these questions, so have at it! :)

Thursday Tips: Holidays & Family Questions! via TheELD.comPhoto by ELV photographer Rae Leytham Photography

Have you heard of name something that was popular for weddings 10 years ago? You should do that!

JUST Engaged: Haha, I STILL get this question, what with me working in weddings and all. Just say, “Yes, I have heard of that! It’s a cool idea!”

Engaged & Planning: Pretty much the same applies. I used to try to explain that these “ideas” are really common and not a new thing, but now I just smile and nod my head. :) Feel free to switch to the Cardinal Rule and talk all about what awesome things you’ve already decided on doing for your wedding. :)Ā 

Who are you using for photography? You know, Uncle Bob has a really nice camera- you should just use him!

JUST Engaged: Oh goodness… I hope you’ve already read enough here on ELD to be able to laugh at this one. ;) At this point, you probably don’t have your photographer yet. If you don’t, just say that there are tons of great (professional) photographers out there, and you haven’t even started looking yet.

Engaged & Planning: See the first sentence of the above. You’ve probably already found an amazing photographer, so go ahead and gush about how awesome they are and how you can’t wait to see the photos that they’ll be taking on your wedding day!

I’m sure there will be many other questions that your family/friends will ask you too! Just remember the Cardinal Rule… talk their ear off about wedding stuff! Also, if you’re newly engaged, remember to pull the “enjoying our engagement” card. That always works wonders. :) Alright, now does anyone have any other questions to add? After this weekend, I would love to hear from you all about what you were asked! Good luck to you all in tackling the family questions… I hope this helps!

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Thursday Tips: Holidays & Family Questions! via


Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail
Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.
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