[Editor’s note: This post was meant for Instagram, but I wrote too much for Insta’s caption, so here we are!]
I almost didn’t post this. But I’m throwing my fears to the wayside, because sometimes things just need to be said.
Kate Spade. I have had to process the gravity of this situation. It’s heartbreaking- for someone who created such a joyful, colorful brand, to be living in a world with the opposite, and to lose them from this world because of the stigma and judgement that surrounds mental health.
As someone who has chosen to surround herself with color and joyful, inspiring quotes, part of me can’t help but think that what Kate Spade created was a way to encourage happiness to occur in her life. Because I know for me, the things that I surround myself with make a difference, so I can imagine that creating happy things would also have that effect.
I’ve seen a few things saying that Kate Spade was afraid to seek help for fear of it tarnishing her brand. The sad thing is that I know that thought all too well.
I fully believe in transparency and truth regarding business and life, and blending the two. But do you want to know another reason why I almost didn’t post this? Because over the past few years, I’ve been told that I share too much. That sometimes it sounds like I’m complaining, or that I’m looking for attention. So I have pulled back on what I share. And as a result? I feel less like myself. I have written and deleted more posts than I care to admit. I feel less connected to my followers, and instead, just feel like a nameless, faceless blogger. I have less support from others because I’m not putting myself out there. I haven’t connected with people as well as I want to. I haven’t felt as open to share what’s in my heart about my business, family, and life. Because I have felt silenced, and that I couldn’t be myself and do what I want- because of my brand and what other people think.
There’s this odd perspective online- and in today’s world in general. Everyone only shares the best, the prettiest and the happiest. But what if you share something that could help someone else? What if someone could help YOU? Neither of those things can happen if you don’t share the pretty and the not-so-pretty.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live in a world where you have to hide things because others are so critical. I want to live in a world where there is support, empathy, encouragement, and understanding.
So here’s my thing- the thing that I have been hiding behind pretty pictures, bright colors, and uplifting quotes- I have been working through postpartum depression. In a way, it feels like a relief to share, but at the same time, I’m cringing inside, knowing that people are going to judge me. Because after all- I’m running a business, and I need to stay professional and everything needs to be perfect. And honestly, it feels like I have failed. Becoming a mom, a lot of things change. And having a business at the same time- a business that you used to joke was your child because you spent 16+ hours a day working- is even harder. But, with the help of my counselor and a great support network, I’m making it through. I’m feeling better than I have in months, and I want others to know that a) PPD can happen several months after baby and b) being a #mompreneur is HARD.
And I ask you this one thing- please, if someone does share about their mental health, stop that judgement that is going to start creeping into your head. Don’t think any less or any differently of them than you did before. For me, I’m sharing because I want there to be more awareness. Had I not had a psychology degree, I’m not sure I would have been aware enough to know what I was dealing with.
Kate Spade, here’s to you. I’m so sorry that you had to face your struggles alone, and I’m so sorry that society’s judgement failed you. But I do hope that we can all learn from this, and take one more step towards having more mental health support and awareness.
If you or someone you know is struggling, go to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or call 1-800-273-8255. And if you think you might be experiencing postpartum depression, feel free to reach out to me and I can pass along my counselor’s information (she does online sessions, which is a lifesaver to this time-strapped mama).
Lauren
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