Okay, it’s time for some wedding planning truths y’all! Some of you may know that I used to be a wedding planner and designer in a past life. And before that, I was totally and completely clueless about weddings, while at the same time, planning my own wedding. Needless to say, when I started out in the wedding world, I wanted to learn everything there was to know about weddings because I knew that there were things I didn’t know. How did I know that? Because things went wrong throughout my wedding planning experience and on my wedding day, and it all could be chalked up to me just not knowing.
With that said… truth be told, sometimes I see or hear things that couples planning weddings say and/or do, and I just want to grab them by their shoulders and SHAKE them, saying, “Don’t make that mistake! Don’t do what I did!”. That might be a little overboard, but lately it’s how I feel, and I wanted to share it with you all. Hence the title of today’s post, “Wedding Truths”…
(Warning: I’m FIRED up for some reason, but nonetheless, these are things that need to be said. For further information beyond the “truths”, I also included links to other posts for you. Now, I digress to these truths…)
Why on EARTH would you want your mom/sister/aunt have to handle things on your wedding day? I don’t care if she plans the wedding- at least INSIST that she ENJOY the wedding day. You don’t want her running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off, and then rushing to get her hair and makeup done and get dressed, and messing with things all during the reception. Do you?! No? Okay then… at least have a month-of coordinator. You can thank me later. :)
Do you really want to trust that “coordinator” your venue provides you? You DO know that chances are highly likely he or she is just the sales person, right? And that they’re going to leave after you cut your cake. Sometimes even before that. And then who’s going to handle all of your gifts? And handle your bustle when it breaks and all of your bridesmaids are too drunk to fix it? And get all your guests rounded up for that sparkler exit you want? Not the venue coordinator. Nope. Don’t fall into the trap. Cover your butt and make sure you have your OWN coordinator on the day of the wedding.
Planning a wedding is hard work. Emails, finding inspiration, inquiries, confirmations, scheduling appointments… it’s equivalent to a full time job, which is why there are wedding planners and professional vendors out there to help you. Why would you want to add another full time workload for yourself when you already have a job?! Plus, don’t you want to ENJOY your wedding planning? It’s stressful enough- don’t add even more unnecessary stress to it.
With that said, yes, weddings ARE people’s full time jobs. Specifically wedding vendors. Or how I like to put it, wedding professionals. While it might seem like it’s all peonies, lace and burlap, it’s not. These people are running businesses. They work odd hours. Usually WAY more hours than others work at a normal 9-5 job, making way less. And they hardly ever see their families or friends. Why? Because their livelihood depends on it. They need to put food on the table for their family. Oh and let’s not forget about the fact that you’re trusting them to make your wedding amazing! So just because it seems like working in weddings is super easy, the best thing ever, and it doesn’t seem like work to you, please, no matter what, treat your vendors how you would want to be treated at your job!
How would you like it if someone told you that they thought you should be paid less money than what you currently make? That’s what it’s like when you ask wedding vendors for discounts. I’m not talking about vendors OFFERING you a discount, I’m talking about straight up saying, “You’re too much money for me, can you work for $____ instead?” Would you do that at a Dr’s office? Or at a restaurant? No? Okay then. Just don’t do it.
Wouldn’t you rather have invitations and paper products that are CUSTOM DESIGNED for you and your wedding? Not picked out from a book and having to stick within certain parameters? Or bought from a box and printed off. It’s YOUR wedding, do what you need to do to MAKE it yours- there are tons of options out there! Oh, and PS- it’s really not more money than either of the previously mentioned options.
So you don’t have a huge budget for a “wedding” and you want to get married ASAP? Go get married at the courthouse and then throw an awesome party! That’s essentially what a wedding is- a party. The difference is that with a wedding, you just happen to invite a lot more people than you normally would, have tons more food and alcohol, and have a schedule to it. You can still have wedding elements to your celebration. Or, do the courthouse thing, and just save up so you can have your wedding later! There’s nothing wrong with that at all. In the end, the important thing is the fact that you’re getting MARRIED, not that you’re having a wedding. :)
Okay, and that’s about all of my ranting, for today anyways. I’m just SUPER fired up and passionate about stuff this week, can you tell? I apologize if this upsets anyone, but to me, it’s the honest truth. Some of you may feel differently or have experienced something different- and if you have, I encourage you to share your own experiences in the comments!
And a little disclosure… In case you haven’t noticed, I 100% support working with professional wedding vendors. Being that I used to be one, I have a strong passion for encouraging all couples to use professionals. It’s my mission (I know, that sounds so corny, but it’s true) to educate all of you about weddings- because I had NO CLUE when I was planning my own. I couldn’t for the life of me find information that really and truly educated me about planning my wedding. So with that said, please know that just about everything that I post is based off of what I didn’t know when I was planning my own wedding, and I share it all with you in hope that it helps someone in some way, some day!
Oh, and if you have ANY questions about ANYTHING wedding, please do ask! I even have a whole page devoted to you all asking me questions– you have no excuse! :)
Editor’s note: A version of this post was originally published in March 2012. It has since been updated for accuracy and content.