When I was a bride, I didn’t know ANYTHING. I didn’t read blogs (there weren’t as many then as there are now). I didn’t have friends to turn to who had already been married because I was the first one. All I had to turn to when planning my wedding were wedding magazines with pages of ads and the same, inaccurate articles and big-huge-corporation-run-wedding-websites that really didn’t give a crap whether or not I chose brown or black as an accent color for my summer wedding.

I also remember having a certain way of thinking when I was bride. I thought that people (people being wedding vendors) I saw online were too good for me or I wouldn’t be able to afford them. Whhhhhaaaaatttttt????? Yes, totally. I think I was actually afraid of wedding vendors who advertised online or who were featured on the very few wedding websites that I frequented.

These thoughts crossed my mind yesterday, and so I thought I would reassure you all today to NOT do what I did when I was bride. Because that is, after all, why I started blogging the first place, back in the summer of 2009- to help others from making the same mistakes that I did! :)

- Don’t be afraid of vendors you see online. This includes, of course, vendors who are featured on a website, vendors who are in “vendor guides”, and vendors who have ads. It’s the internet, and you WANT to find these awesome vendors, right? This is 2011- what other ways are you going to find vendors for your wedding?! Well they’re right under your noses, and chances are good that you CAN have them for your wedding!

- On that note, don’t be afraid to send an email! I think I stalked several people’s websites, but never sent an email for the previously stated “fear”. Email is amazing- you can ask for information and get an answer without committing. When you email, ask the vendor you’re inquiring with what their average brides spend with them. Chances are good that it will be a close number to what you would need to spend with them. Plus, both you and the vendor WIN when you do this, because you’re not wasting each others’ time if they are out of your budget!

Photo by Kristen Weaver Photography

- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I never commented on things or asked questions. (Although, I did once, on a popular site’s wedding board- and I was basically ridiculed and made fun of by some other brides, which forever turned me off from asking others for help and advice. Sad right?) But if I had found the right forum or the right person to ask, then things would have been so much better. So with that said- comment on posts! Ask questions on the ELD 101 Q & A! Email me! I’m here to help you, and so are many other bloggers and wedding professionals. You’ve never been married before, so how are you supposed to know everything about weddings? There is no reason for a wedding question to go unanswered- and chances are, someone else has the same question or problem! Just ask. DO IT. :)

- Don’t think you have to adhere to special “rules”. Do what you want. Do what makes you happy. Don’t want dinner and want cocktails and appetizers instead? Do it! Don’t want to do a bouquet toss? Then don’t! I’m always being asked, “What’s the correct way to do {insert wedding term here}?” The truth is, the only correct way to do it is how you want! Plus, it’s pretty common for brides to not follow some of the traditional wedding “rules” now. However, it does help to know what the “norm” is when making a decision, so see the previous “don’t”. In the end, it’s YOUR wedding and it should be the way YOU want it!

There are lots of other things that I would recommend to NOT do, but then I would probably be writing a book! :) Things in the wedding world have changed a lot in the 3 years since I was engaged. Lucky for all of you, everything has changed for the better! There are a lot more resources out there, of course more blogs and websites, and better magazines. But I’m sure some of you are still kind of like I was- so learn from my mistakes and don’t do what I did!