by: Lauren

When I was a bride, I didn’t know ANYTHING. I didn’t read blogs (there weren’t as many then as there are now). I didn’t have friends to turn to who had already been married because I was the first one. All I had to turn to when planning my wedding were wedding magazines with pages of ads and the same, inaccurate articles and big-huge-corporation-run-wedding-websites that really didn’t give a crap whether or not I chose brown or black as an accent color for my summer wedding.

I also remember having a certain way of thinking when I was bride. I thought that people (people being wedding vendors) I saw online were too good for me or I wouldn’t be able to afford them. Whhhhhaaaaatttttt????? Yes, totally. I think I was actually afraid of wedding vendors who advertised online or who were featured on the very few wedding websites that I frequented.

These thoughts crossed my mind yesterday, and so I thought I would reassure you all today to NOT do what I did when I was bride. Because that is, after all, why I started blogging the first place, back in the summer of 2009- to help others from making the same mistakes that I did! :)

Don’t be afraid of vendors you see online. This includes, of course, vendors who are featured on a website, vendors who are in “vendor guides”, and vendors who have ads. It’s the internet, and you WANT to find these awesome vendors, right? This is 2011- what other ways are you going to find vendors for your wedding?! Well they’re right under your noses, and chances are good that you CAN have them for your wedding!

– On that note, don’t be afraid to send an email! I think I stalked several people’s websites, but never sent an email for the previously stated “fear”. Email is amazing- you can ask for information and get an answer without committing. When you email, ask the vendor you’re inquiring with what their average brides spend with them. Chances are good that it will be a close number to what you would need to spend with them. Plus, both you and the vendor WIN when you do this, because you’re not wasting each others’ time if they are out of your budget!

Thursday Tips: Dont Do What I Did When I Was A Bride! via

Photo by Kristen Weaver Photography


Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I never commented on things or asked questions. (Although, I did once, on a popular site’s wedding board- and I was basically ridiculed and made fun of by some other brides, which forever turned me off from asking others for help and advice. Sad right?) But if I had found the right forum or the right person to ask, then things would have been so much better. So with that said- comment on posts! Ask questions on the ELD 101 Q & A! Email me! I’m here to help you, and so are many other bloggers and wedding professionals. You’ve never been married before, so how are you supposed to know everything about weddings? There is no reason for a wedding question to go unanswered- and chances are, someone else has the same question or problem! Just ask. DO IT. :)

Don’t think you have to adhere to special “rules”. Do what you want. Do what makes you happy. Don’t want dinner and want cocktails and appetizers instead? Do it! Don’t want to do a bouquet toss? Then don’t! I’m always being asked, “What’s the correct way to do {insert wedding term here}?” The truth is, the only correct way to do it is how you want! Plus, it’s pretty common for brides to not follow some of the traditional wedding “rules” now. However, it does help to know what the “norm” is when making a decision, so see the previous “don’t”. In the end, it’s YOUR wedding and it should be the way YOU want it!


There are lots of other things that I would recommend to NOT do, but then I would probably be writing a book! :) Things in the wedding world have changed a lot in the 3 years since I was engaged. Lucky for all of you, everything has changed for the better! There are a lot more resources out there, of course more blogs and websites, and better magazines. But I’m sure some of you are still kind of like I was- so learn from my mistakes and don’t do what I did!

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Thursday Tips: Dont Do What I Did When I Was A Bride! via


Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail
Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.

11 responses to Thursday Tips: Don’t Do What I Did When I Was A Bride!

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  1. Events by Elisa

    Hear, hear! You and I were engaged around the same time, chica… And although I found an awesome local (now national) forum that I used for a ton of my wedding planning (and even though I was planning nonprofit events and galas for the two years previous) I made some dumb decisions because I didn’t look long enough, or hard enough, or ask for help or suggestions. Luckily, my wedding was still beautiful, but there are definitely things I’d have done very, very differently. I find it so sad when I see someone stressed completely out because she didn’t take the time to find the vendors she loved, or to ask her friends (or her coordinator!) for help… It’s not hard to plan a wedding – but it IS hard to plan a wedding without the proper support!

  2. Glamour and Grace

    Fabulous tips! The last tip is the most important which I think most brides forget! Be yourself and have your wedding be a reflection of you!

  3. Jessica

    We get asked all the time by brides the “what’s the right way…” question. And we offer our advice but always them them that it’s up to them – there is no “right” way to do anything. Great post!

  4. Michael Newman

    great post! Maybe you should write a Book!

  5. Kirby {Colors of Honey}

    Thank you so much for the tips! they help more than some people realize. I’ve learned so much from other bloggers and tips from ‘real wedding’ posts that I’m pretty sure I would be a disaster on my wedding day if it weren’t for all of the do’s and don’ts. xo Kirby

  6. Shana

    Thank you for the fabulous tips! p.s. I love love love your blog design!

  7. OCD Events

    Great tips! You always have the most knowledgeable posts. xo, Heather

  8. Wrapped Couture

    These were great tips and really needed to be said. Brides tend to think that there is a blueprint for a wedding and the thing, like you said is that they need to do what they want and be themselves. it’s ok to have cupcakes instead of a wedding cake or have a silent cake cutting instead of a public on. the most important thing is to ask questions so they can make an informed decision rather than no question at all.

  9. Miss Cinnamon Bun

    I agree completely with finding out what the ‘norm’ is, even if you’re going to end up doing the opposite thing. I don’t know why, but I find it so helpful to know ‘traditionally, this happens this way’, so I can make an informed decision on whether or not I like/want/need that particular tradition.

  10. sunrise

    Thank you so much!!!

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