What I Wish I Had Known About Marriage

Happy May 23rd y’all! You may be wondering why I’m calling out the specific date of today. Well, it’s because today is my wedding anniversary! Four years ago, on this day, my husband and I tied the knot! And while it wasn’t an absolutely perfect wedding, it was great nonetheless. I’m also thankful for the mistakes I made and things that I learned while planning my wedding- because after all, it WAS what made me start Every Last Detail!

I talk so much about wedding planning, wedding tips, and all things wedding, that I thought I would take today to talk about the thing that happens AFTER the wedding- the marriage. It’s something that you think about, but it doesn’t get a ton of attention when it comes to planning a wedding- and it absolutely should.

Now I will be the first person to tell you that marriage isn’t easy. It’s hard work. As Ben Affleck recently said, “…it is work, but it’s the best kind of work…”. That is so. Very. True. I mean, sure it’s easy to be with the one you love, but a marriage is something more than that. It’s a life together. It’s compromises. It’s money management. It’s home improvements. And so much more. All of the little things that create a marriage- it’s all work. Enjoyable work, and work that you do with the one you love, but work nonetheless- and you have to think about that and keep it in mind.

With that said, there are most certainly things that I wish I had known before my husband and I got married. Sure, we weren’t in the most normal of situations (getting married young, him still in school, no money), but it would have been helpful to have a few tidbits of *real* advice. So here are a few things that we’ve learned in our four years of marriage…

1. You don’t have to have a marriage like “everyone else’s”. There’s no such thing as perfect. I used to look at other people’s marriages and relationships, and want what they had. Maybe they went on lots of trips, maybe they would talk about how they never fought. Well you know what? Your marriage has to be what works for YOU. Just as you and your significant other are different from each other, every marriage is different.

2. Spend time together. I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but your lives will get busy. For myself and my husband, it’s me running a business and him going to chiropractor school. And the times that we just STOP and hang out together, those are the best times- no matter what we’re doing. But sometimes we have to MAKE time for that.

3. There WILL be rough patches. And it’s okay. There’s no telling what or when your rough patch will be, but know that it’s okay if it happens. Maybe it will be about money, maybe it will be about kids, or maybe just about life together. Don’t give up. You’re not doomed just because you have a “rough patch”. Keep going, remember why you love each other, and most all, remember that you’re in this marriage together.

I’m most certainly  not a marriage expert y’all. All of this, it’s just my advice based on what I have learned so far. It’s what I wish someone would have told me and my husband before we got married. Sure, it might sound kind of negative, but marriage isn’t all rainbows and ponies all the time. It’s life, and life can be difficult sometimes. It helps to know that. Plus, the good times far outweigh the bad times- because you’re married to the love of your life! :)

I will end this with what I wrote along with the Instagram photo that I posted today (one of the only photos from our wedding that I like):

4 years ago today, I married my best friend and high school sweetheart! In the 12 years we’ve been together, there have been highs and lows (mostly blood sugar- husband has Type 1 Diabetes if you didn’t know), many new experiences, and challenges that we’ve faced. People asked us why we wanted to get married so young, when we still had so much to figure out. But that’s why- to go through it all together and share a life together. And that is what we’ve done, and we’re still just in the beginning! I love you Schuyler!

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So do you have any marriage advice that people have shared with you? Or if you’re already married, do you have anything to add? 

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Lauren

Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail

Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.

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