Hey there everyone! So I felt like starting off today with a little explanation of why I write these Tips posts. My ultimate goal is for all of you to have BETTER weddings than I did. In fact, this is precisely the reason why I started blogging 3 years ago. In that time, I’ve discovered that the way to do my part to make sure you all have great weddings is by educating- which is why I started Thursday Tips! I try to think about the things that I myself never knew when I was planning my own wedding and write about that- because let’s face it… I was TOTALLY clueless about weddings. Do I sometimes feel like the bad guy because I’m telling you that you can’t get awesome photography for $1000? Totally! But how else are you supposed to know?! I’ve figured that if I didn’t know, then someone else doesn’t know either… and trust me- I Googled for ages trying to find the answers, and always came up empty-handed! I view ELD as a sort of “go-between” for brides and vendors. I speak to vendors on a regular basis about what you all are wanting from them and how they can work with you better, and I educate all of you on what you should know and how to have the best wedding possible! Because honestly, THAT is my absolute goal- that all brides can be educated and have amazing weddings because of it! :)
Photo by ELV member Josh McCullock Photography
Sometimes though, it feels like there’s just a never-ending war between brides and vendors. And I’m pretty sure some of you might feel like that too- especially on a day when I’ve posted something about pricing, deals, or negotiating. ;) It almost seems like vendors are seen as just that- vendors. And it’s kind of the same for brides too. When it comes down to it, yes, vendors are real people who need to make money to support their families. But at the same time, brides are real people who don’t want to drain their bank accounts. The thing is, vendors and brides, you all need each other, and I want you all to have wonderful working relationships- heck I love it when I hear that brides become friends with their vendors after their weddings… THAT is my kind of relationship! :)
Which brings me to today’s topic of having great vendor relationships. A few weeks ago, I post a few tips for inquiring with wedding vendors. A lot of those same concepts apply, but I want to go a little deeper into the relationship. But first, I HAVE to start with this video. Seriously. Watch it. I was dying laughing, but the thing is, it makes TOTAL sense…
It’s kind of ridiculous when you apply those things to other “real world” industries, isn’t it? We would never think about actually doing those things at stores or restaurants, but the thing is, that stuff happens with wedding vendors ALL the time. Because for some reason, weddings are seen as *different* than any other industry out there. Maybe it’s because weddings are fun, maybe it’s because they’re so pretty, or maybe it’s because you often deal with a person instead of a big company. I don’t know what it is that makes the wedding industry seem different, but whatever it is, general rules of society still need to apply.
So, with all of that out in the open, let’s talk vendor relationships! A great vendor relationship is all about communication and trust. Sounds like we’re in couples therapy, right? But it’s true! You spend a lot of time with your vendors- some more than others- and communication and trust are the keys to having a great relationship with them! So here are some tips for having great vendor relationships!
Respond! Whether you’re emailing or calling with an inquiry or you’re trying to schedule a meeting, responding in a timely fashion is always great.
Understand! At the same time, understand that not all of your vendors are going to be sitting in front of the computer waiting on emails all day. Often times, they’re out and about, going to meetings, prepping for weddings, and working at weddings. [This was something that I didn’t even consider when I was planning my wedding. I was religiously refreshing my email all time, chomping at the bit for replies. It’s funny, because now emails are my nemesis ;)] Give someone a day before freaking out about them not responding… and if it’s the weekend, give them until Tuesday, since many vendors take Monday off after a weekend of work!
Communicate! It’s important to communicate your expectations and needs. Of course it helps to start your vendor relationship with the communication of these things, but sometimes your needs will change along the way. If you change your mind about what flowers you want, your wedding style, or anything at all really, SPEAK UP! (This actually happened to me- I wanted to change my wedding design but didn’t say anything, and I 100% regret it!) Your vendors can’t read your mind, so be sure you speak it! They all want you to have an amazing wedding too!! :)
Spend Time With Them! It’s a good idea to spend some time with the vendors that you’re going to spend lots of time with- like your planner, your photographer, cinematographer, etc. If they’re going to be there on your wedding day with you, spending time with them will ensure that you’re comfortable with them, which will in turn yield a better wedding day for you. :)
Respect! Haha, this really is starting to sound like couples counseling isn’t it? ;) Just as you want your vendors to respect you, be respectful of them as well. Respect the time that they have set aside for you for meetings, their hours of business (aka try not to text them at 10pm), the role that they have in your wedding, and that they also have a life beyond weddings. It seems like common sense, but sometimes it’s not always remembered. :)
Trust! You’ve hired your vendors for a reason. Trust their opinions and their expertise. When they tell you that your ceremony needs to take place at X time because the sun is setting soon after, go with that, despite what you thought. They’ve done weddings way more than you have, so they know what’s best. In fact, use their expertise to your advantage! There’s no reason to stress out about a certain decision- they might be able to give you some insight to help you decide! :)
Photo via ELV planner M. Elizabeth Events
I truly believe that one of the best ways to have an excellent wedding is by having great vendor relationships- almost like being on a “team” (insert your own Olympics thoughts here)! Honestly, I didn’t have good relationships with my own vendors- they all had better relationships with my mom than with me. That’s probably why my wedding wasn’t the absolute best reflection of me, and also why my expectations weren’t voiced. But I hope this insight will help some of you have great relationships with YOUR vendors, and thus, have GREAT weddings! :)
Here are a few other posts that might help you out when working with your vendors…
5 Things To Know About…Vendors
Finding & Inquiring With Vendors!
5 Tips For Communicating With Vendors
Guidelines For Choosing Wedding Vendors
Do “Off Season” Discounts Exist?
Comparing Vendors: Apples To Oranges
How To Find Out Wedding Vendor Pricing
So brides, do have awesome relationships with your vendors yet? Tell us all about them, and if you have any other tips to add from your own experience with your vendors, feel free to share! :)
Lauren
Latest posts by Lauren (see all)
- Newly Engaged? 10 Steps To Start Planning Your Wedding! - January 4, 2023
- How Much Do Weddings Cost? - January 3, 2023
- What You Need To Know BEFORE You Start Planning Your Wedding - January 1, 2023
Great article! You make some really good points… the communication and trust goes both ways. We’ve found that as you’re getting to know each client, it helps to assess their schedule/ availability to try and meet in the middle. Some people inevitably have more time to devote to wedding planning while others are super busy- but it doesn’t mean that either party gets better or worse service. It’s a process, but everyone “wins” so it’s worth it! :)
Valuable advice! I work with absolutely wonderful Brides & each one is unique & expects something different from me. So communication & trust Are key!
Love this article! SO SO True in every way!
LOVE this post! We’ve found that every client brings different expectations to the table, so it makes good sense for us to build a relationship before the wedding. Thanks for writing!
Nail on the head!
The exact same issue occurs for musicians, too. Even the UK Government asked musicians to perform around London during the Olympics for free: “They should do it because they love it.” OK, and will you complain when we claim welfare instead of earning a wage and paying taxes? It’s a global problem and the advice shared is useful for anyone who provides a service.
You said it perfectly! Love the video! I have said it to many times to mention that people dont walk into a store and say I know its priced at this amount but I am only paying this much! So educational for brides to see and read! And a good laugh too!
Oh, Lauren! Once again, you’ve hit this one out of the park! It could not have come at a more perfect time! Thank you for your wonderful insight and for being such an amazing and REALISTIC liaison be vendors and our brides! I LOVE walking away from an event, feeling like I’ve just finished my good friends’ wedding! :)
This is amazingly accurate! I have made an extra effort to get to know my brides so we can have just this type of relationship. One of the things I like to do is take the bride (maybe her mom too) to my wholesaler about 2 months before their wedding so they can walk around the cooler and pick out some of the blooms they really like. After, we usually head to a Starbucks to discuss. Since I love going so much, I do this at no extra charge. Brides love it=great relationship.
Your video is so good you almost didn’t need to write the post, haha! I’m a destination wedding planner so I act as master vendor between my couples and the Italian service providers that make their event unforgettable. It is so important for me to establish that trusting relationship on behalf of the vendors and when bride and groom land in Italy and meet finally meet them in person it’s like a class reunion! Ok, now I’m going through the rest of your posts …. so professional – grazie!