by: Lauren

Okay, so if you don’t know by now, there are a few things that I’m REALLY passionate about when it comes to what I do. One of those things is details. (Hence the name Every Last Detail.)

Well for some reason, details (and the publications that share them) have gotten a bad rap in the wedding world over the past few years. I suppose it’s because everyone wants their couples to have weddings that have more of a focus on their relationships, their upcoming marriage, and spending the rest of their lives together. Well of course I totally and completely 100% agree with that. I mean, you shouldn’t even be getting married if you don’t want to focus on your love! BUT… just because you have a wedding full of love, that doesn’t mean you can’t focus on the details of your wedding too!

The Truth About Wedding Details via TheELD.com

Photo by T&C Photographie

You see, details are an important part a wedding. Not because they’re pretty and they get featured online and in magazines, but because they make each and every wedding unique. Your details are what differentiates your wedding from the one that happened at your venue the week (or night) before. Think about it for a minute- if no one had details at a wedding, they would all be the same boring events!

The details that are always the best- and that are usually shared by websites and magazines- are the details that have a personal tie to the couple. The details that reflect the bride and groom. The details that tell the story about your relationship. The details that make guests  say “This is SO bride and groom’s names” when they walk into the wedding. These are details that a couple puts their heart and soul into, and celebrates their love!

The Truth About Wedding Details via TheELD.comPhoto by Justin DeMutiis Photographyvia

So brides, let me ask you this: why do you turn to the web and buy magazines? Because you want inspiration and ideas for  details, right? You want to know what other brides have done. And then you want to take that inspiration, and put your own personal twist on it! There is NOTHING wrong with that, and you most definitely shouldn’t feel bad about wanting to have details at your wedding! [I will say that sometimes you can have TOO MANY details- and I blame Pinterest! My suggestion to avoid this is once you have your wedding designed, then step away from all the inspiration so things aren’t too overwhelming!]

Truthfully, I think that people who “diss” details don’t understand that details are in EVERY wedding. Like I said before- the details are what makes a wedding unique! Sure, details are pretty things like centerpieces, bouquets, and table numbers. But they’re also the functional parts of wedding too- like serving crepes at your wedding because your first kiss was over crepes, or having a nautical theme to your wedding because the two of you love sailing! Details should be all about reflecting you and your fiancé– and when they do, they will make your wedding more intimate and personal, adding to the love surrounding you on your wedding day!

So I’ll leave you with this:

Don’t have details at your wedding just for the sake of having details.

Have details because they tell the story of your life together!

————————————————————

And now I want to hear from YOU all about what details mean to you! What kind of personal details are you planning on having at your own wedding?

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The Truth About Wedding Details via TheELD.com

Lauren

Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail
Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.
The Truth About Wedding Details via TheELD.com

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12 responses to The Truth About Wedding Details

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  1. Meg R.

    I knew you’d be writing a post as soon as I saw the HuffPo article get shared earlier this week. You did so eloquently and thoughtfully, and I appreciated the thought-starter.

    Since your audience is mostly brides and those in the industry, I’d like to share a perspective from someone who is relatively unbiased (as much as you can be when your best friend lives and breathes this stuff on a regular basis).

    What I like most about your site is that you fight for brides so that they have the knowledge and confidence to make their weddings their own and not fall prey to standard out-of-the-box weddings that don’t speak to their individuality, often using details as a means to do that.

    But, as the columnist who penned the HuffPo piece pointed out, there are a number of publications that place an intense amount of pressure on using photographs that show off details and not the people behind them. While these photos provide amazing inspiration and are fun-as-hell to Pin on Pinterest, I can also see how they become a source of anxiety. I’m not even engaged and I often find myself thinking, “Hmm… I don’t know if I can afford all these details and I’m too lazy to DIY, so does that mean my wedding is going to be boring and undesirable?”

    I do think the photographer brought up an interesting point about the need to include details in shots being submitted to bridal publications. Obviously, photographers want their work published in order to get exposure, and editors want gorgeous photos of details so that they can inspire brides… but, if photographers are busy capturing the perfect angle of the glitter-covered “&” sign, are they missing out on the mother-of-the-bride tucking her daughter’s hair behind her ear as she nervously sips from her Starbucks cup? If the photographer’s assistant is more preoccupied with shooting the adorable cake topper from Etsy, is the ring bearer dancing with the maid-of-honor going unnoticed?

    I don’t think the point of the article was that details are bad, or that sites that feature details are bad. I think the point was that there might be too much pressure being placed on capturing details, rather than moments, and that the balance between the two should be restored.

  2. Meg R.

    I knew you’d be writing a post as soon as I saw the HuffPo article get shared earlier this week. You did so eloquently and thoughtfully, and I appreciated the thought-starter.

    Since your audience is mostly brides and those in the industry, I’d like to share a perspective from someone who is relatively unbiased (as much as you can be when your best friend lives and breathes this stuff on a regular basis).

    What I like most about your site is that you fight for brides so that they have the knowledge and confidence to make their weddings their own and not fall prey to standard out-of-the-box weddings that don’t speak to their individuality, often using details as a means to do that.

    But, as the columnist who penned the HuffPo piece pointed out, there are a number of publications that place an intense amount of pressure on using photographs that show off details and not the people behind them. While these photos provide amazing inspiration and are fun-as-hell to Pin on Pinterest, I can also see how they become a source of anxiety. I’m not even engaged and I often find myself thinking, “Hmm… I don’t know if I can afford all these details and I’m too lazy to DIY, so does that mean my wedding is going to be boring and undesirable?”

    I do think the photographer brought up an interesting point about the need to include details in shots being submitted to bridal publications. Obviously, photographers want their work published in order to get exposure, and editors want gorgeous photos of details so that they can inspire brides… but, if photographers are busy capturing the perfect angle of the glitter-covered “&” sign, are they missing out on the mother-of-the-bride tucking her daughter’s hair behind her ear as she nervously sips from her Starbucks cup? If the photographer’s assistant is more preoccupied with shooting the adorable cake topper from Etsy, is the ring bearer dancing with the maid-of-honor going unnoticed?

    I don’t think the point of the article was that details are bad, or that sites that feature details are bad. I think the point was that there might be too much pressure being placed on capturing details, rather than moments, and that the balance between the two should be restored.

  3. Meg R.

    I knew you’d be writing a post as soon as I saw the HuffPo article get shared earlier this week. You did so eloquently and thoughtfully, and I appreciated the thought-starter.

    Since your audience is mostly brides and those in the industry, I’d like to share a perspective from someone who is relatively unbiased (as much as you can be when your best friend lives and breathes this stuff on a regular basis).

    What I like most about your site is that you fight for brides so that they have the knowledge and confidence to make their weddings their own and not fall prey to standard out-of-the-box weddings that don’t speak to their individuality, often using details as a means to do that.

    But, as the columnist who penned the HuffPo piece pointed out, there are a number of publications that place an intense amount of pressure on using photographs that show off details and not the people behind them. While these photos provide amazing inspiration and are fun-as-hell to Pin on Pinterest, I can also see how they become a source of anxiety. I’m not even engaged and I often find myself thinking, “Hmm… I don’t know if I can afford all these details and I’m too lazy to DIY, so does that mean my wedding is going to be boring and undesirable?”

    I do think the photographer brought up an interesting point about the need to include details in shots being submitted to bridal publications. Obviously, photographers want their work published in order to get exposure, and editors want gorgeous photos of details so that they can inspire brides… but, if photographers are busy capturing the perfect angle of the glitter-covered “&” sign, are they missing out on the mother-of-the-bride tucking her daughter’s hair behind her ear as she nervously sips from her Starbucks cup? If the photographer’s assistant is more preoccupied with shooting the adorable cake topper from Etsy, is the ring bearer dancing with the maid-of-honor going unnoticed?

    I don’t think the point of the article was that details are bad, or that sites that feature details are bad. I think the point was that there might be too much pressure being placed on capturing details, rather than moments, and that the balance between the two should be restored.

  4. Meg R.

    I knew you’d be writing a post as soon as I saw the HuffPo article get shared earlier this week. You did so eloquently and thoughtfully, and I appreciated the thought-starter.

    Since your audience is mostly brides and those in the industry, I’d like to share a perspective from someone who is relatively unbiased (as much as you can be when your best friend lives and breathes this stuff on a regular basis).

    What I like most about your site is that you fight for brides so that they have the knowledge and confidence to make their weddings their own and not fall prey to standard out-of-the-box weddings that don’t speak to their individuality, often using details as a means to do that.

    But, as the columnist who penned the HuffPo piece pointed out, there are a number of publications that place an intense amount of pressure on using photographs that show off details and not the people behind them. While these photos provide amazing inspiration and are fun-as-hell to Pin on Pinterest, I can also see how they become a source of anxiety. I’m not even engaged and I often find myself thinking, “Hmm… I don’t know if I can afford all these details and I’m too lazy to DIY, so does that mean my wedding is going to be boring and undesirable?”

    I do think the photographer brought up an interesting point about the need to include details in shots being submitted to bridal publications. Obviously, photographers want their work published in order to get exposure, and editors want gorgeous photos of details so that they can inspire brides… but, if photographers are busy capturing the perfect angle of the glitter-covered “&” sign, are they missing out on the mother-of-the-bride tucking her daughter’s hair behind her ear as she nervously sips from her Starbucks cup? If the photographer’s assistant is more preoccupied with shooting the adorable cake topper from Etsy, is the ring bearer dancing with the maid-of-honor going unnoticed?

    I don’t think the point of the article was that details are bad, or that sites that feature details are bad. I think the point was that there might be too much pressure being placed on capturing details, rather than moments, and that the balance between the two should be restored.

  5. Meg R.

    I knew you’d be writing a post as soon as I saw the HuffPo article get shared earlier this week. You did so eloquently and thoughtfully, and I appreciated the thought-starter.

    Since your audience is mostly brides and those in the industry, I’d like to share a perspective from someone who is relatively unbiased (as much as you can be when your best friend lives and breathes this stuff on a regular basis).

    What I like most about your site is that you fight for brides so that they have the knowledge and confidence to make their weddings their own and not fall prey to standard out-of-the-box weddings that don’t speak to their individuality, often using details as a means to do that.

    But, as the columnist who penned the HuffPo piece pointed out, there are a number of publications that place an intense amount of pressure on using photographs that show off details and not the people behind them. While these photos provide amazing inspiration and are fun-as-hell to Pin on Pinterest, I can also see how they become a source of anxiety. I’m not even engaged and I often find myself thinking, “Hmm… I don’t know if I can afford all these details and I’m too lazy to DIY, so does that mean my wedding is going to be boring and undesirable?”

    I do think the photographer brought up an interesting point about the need to include details in shots being submitted to bridal publications. Obviously, photographers want their work published in order to get exposure, and editors want gorgeous photos of details so that they can inspire brides… but, if photographers are busy capturing the perfect angle of the glitter-covered “&” sign, are they missing out on the mother-of-the-bride tucking her daughter’s hair behind her ear as she nervously sips from her Starbucks cup? If the photographer’s assistant is more preoccupied with shooting the adorable cake topper from Etsy, is the ring bearer dancing with the maid-of-honor going unnoticed?

    I don’t think the point of the article was that details are bad, or that sites that feature details are bad. I think the point was that there might be too much pressure being placed on capturing details, rather than moments, and that the balance between the two should be restored.

  6. Meg R.

    I knew you’d be writing a post as soon as I saw the HuffPo article get shared earlier this week. You did so eloquently and thoughtfully, and I appreciated the thought-starter.

    Since your audience is mostly brides and those in the industry, I’d like to share a perspective from someone who is relatively unbiased (as much as you can be when your best friend lives and breathes this stuff on a regular basis).

    What I like most about your site is that you fight for brides so that they have the knowledge and confidence to make their weddings their own and not fall prey to standard out-of-the-box weddings that don’t speak to their individuality, often using details as a means to do that.

    But, as the columnist who penned the HuffPo piece pointed out, there are a number of publications that place an intense amount of pressure on using photographs that show off details and not the people behind them. While these photos provide amazing inspiration and are fun-as-hell to Pin on Pinterest, I can also see how they become a source of anxiety. I’m not even engaged and I often find myself thinking, “Hmm… I don’t know if I can afford all these details and I’m too lazy to DIY, so does that mean my wedding is going to be boring and undesirable?”

    I do think the photographer brought up an interesting point about the need to include details in shots being submitted to bridal publications. Obviously, photographers want their work published in order to get exposure, and editors want gorgeous photos of details so that they can inspire brides… but, if photographers are busy capturing the perfect angle of the glitter-covered “&” sign, are they missing out on the mother-of-the-bride tucking her daughter’s hair behind her ear as she nervously sips from her Starbucks cup? If the photographer’s assistant is more preoccupied with shooting the adorable cake topper from Etsy, is the ring bearer dancing with the maid-of-honor going unnoticed?

    I don’t think the point of the article was that details are bad, or that sites that feature details are bad. I think the point was that there might be too much pressure being placed on capturing details, rather than moments, and that the balance between the two should be restored.

  7. Susan Stripling

    You say “Your details are what differentiates your wedding from the one that happened at your venue the week (or night) before. Think about it for a minute- if no one had details at a wedding, they would all be the same boring events!”.

    Please understand that this is not entirely true. Every wedding has it’s own religious traditions, unique family relationships, and beautifully unfolding moments. What makes my wedding, happening in April of this year, different from the wedding the week before or after? WE are different. We are not last week’s couple. We are not next week’s couple. We have our own history, our own family dynamic, and our own love and commitment. The fact that I have a pretty doily with my name on it as my escort card shouldn’t mean anything when compared to the fact that the day is about bringing ourselves together in front of our family and friends and dedicating ourselves to our marriage.

    The rest is just stuff.

  8. Elvira DeCuir

    Good post! I can definitelysee the point on both sides – as my blog’s motto is “the beauty is in the details”…i truly believe this but that is because I am a detailed-oriented person with an obsession for details and seeing all the components come together beautifully. For me it would be important for a photographer to capture the details for my portfolio, however for the B & G I think it may be more important to them that the photographer captures their special moments. (I think Meg makes a good point below and not everyone can afford 2 photographers.) My personal satisfaction comes from creating visual beauty, however not everyone is like me and may care less about “the details”.

    I do think that wedding details have been a bit over-sensationalized in online publications, while details are lovely to look at, they of course should not be the most celebrated part of a wedding. I also think sometimes the focus on details in publications may set unrealistic expectations of what brides should include in their wedding or may make them feel that they need to compete with other weddings when it comes to details – thinking more outside of the box or trumping other weddings they’ve seen, which may lead to additional stress and higher costs. So, do I love the details? Yes I definitely do! But I also love the amazing photo of the couple’s first dance, the tear in the father’s eye as he gives away his daughter, the smiles on the bride and groom’s face as they shove cake in each other’s mouths, etc. I think generally people love to look at beautiful things and amazing photos, but there should not be an overwhelming focus on details and decor or a silent universal standard for what we see. I personally would like to see a bit more diversity in what publications are choosing to feature, not every wedding needs to have 15 pictures of details and 3 of the couple or be in a field or have 10ft tall centerpieces or a hand-written sign – I feel like I never see any church weddings featured anymore. I’ll stop here because I’ll be starting on a whole new topic regarding publications.

  9. Morgan Bell

    As I see myself waiting for my ring (Come on, boyfriend!!!) and as a beginning photographer, I feel myself tugging at both sides of this argument.

    I do want whoever I choose as my future wedding photog to capture “us, our history, our family dynamic,” etc. However, I’m also going to want to remember the centerpieces that my girlfriends and I spend hours making one evening over tea and lots of laughter and my grandmother’s brooch that will be nestled into my bouquet. Why can’t brides have both? Why can’t the day be full of love AND details?

  10. Bellenza Wedding Bistro

    I agree…details are fabulous most of all if they’re meaningful to the couple! And we admit it, we LOVE being inspired by those details! :-)

  11. clair estelle

    these table numbers are so gorgeous!

  12. Peggy Attaway

    As a working professional in the industry, there is most definitely a place for the details. The dilemma has become that if Bride A sees an inspiration and she uses it, then Bride B, Bride C and so on..Now, its no longer unique. The details should supplement the wedding not be the focus of it. As a photographer with years of experience, the two comments above are both point on. If we are spending alot of time shooting those details in excess, we are missing moments and I can assure you that in 10 years, the typewriter in the field will be alot less significant than a dance with grandpa that was possibly the last one. The HuffPo article was beautifully written and well said. I came across the 2012 Wedding Photographers of The Year and one of the artist there said it best… “often times, brides focus excessively on the details because they are uncomfortable in their own skin…its a distraction… Truly, our most beautiful weddings involve a bride who feels really good about herself on wedding day and is crazy in love with her groom…and she does not have to be a supermodel..She just has to exude confidence in herself.

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