by: Lauren

Happy Thursday everyone! I’m tackling another “Ask Lauren” question today, and this is something that just about everyone has to do at some point in their wedding planning- turning down wedding vendors! Yes, it’s not a fun thing, but in reality, it’s part of planning a wedding. So let’s get talking about how to turn down wedding vendors, shall we?

Eliza asked:

Turning down vendors — how do you do it? I interviewed two Month-of Coordinators. I liked both and would have enjoyed working with either of them, but a decision has to be made. What’s the polite and right way to inform a vendor you’re not going to contract with them?

Ask Lauren: How Do You Turn Down Vendors? via

This is an excellent question, because it was something that I myself wasn’t sure about when I was planning my own wedding- which means I’m sure lots of other people aren’t too sure too! Meeting with a few different vendors is something that most everyone has to do, because if you’re like me, you want to know your options. But at some point, you have to make a decision and get your favorite vendors booked for your wedding (because let’s be honest, they tend to book up fast!)… but what about the other vendors that you met with? What should you do if you didn’t choose them?

Well, after having been on both sides of this particular fence (bride and vendor), I think I can definitely shed some light on this topic for you all. At first, your initial inclination might be to just not let them know at all. It seems like it’s the best way, right? Just hope that they’ll eventually forget about your meeting? Well, things unfortunately don’t work that way. Wedding pros are running a business, and a big part of any business is following up with potential clients. Because truthfully, we all get busy, and before we know it, a month has gone by and we haven’t responded to emails! So it’s pretty normal for a wedding vendor to follow up with you after a consultation if they haven’t heard from you yet.

Ask Lauren: How Do You Turn Down Vendors? via TheELD.comImage by Holly Gardner Photography

When it comes time to let vendors know that you’ve decided to go with someone else, the best way to start is to just let them know. As I mentioned before, sometimes your natural inclination is to just avoid it- at least it was for me! But letting them know is the polite and acceptable thing to do. All you have to say is something along the lines of, “It was so great to meet you! Thank you so much for sharing your amazing work with myself and my fiance! Unfortunately, we’ve decided to go with another photographer/florist/planner/vendor for our wedding, but thank you so much for your time!” And of course include the proper greeting and signature too. The key to this is to get the information across and be nice about it. :)

In addition to just letting the vendor know that you won’t be contracting with them, if there’s a specific reason that you decided not to work with them, it may help them for the future if you share that with them. Of course this isn’t necessary, but it helps to have feedback. I always say, if you don’t tell someone, they’ll never know! If you feel like you had a good connection with the vendor, and/or they’re the type of personality to be open to feedback, then feel free to provide that extra bit of info for them!


So brides, have you had to turn down any vendors yet? How did you do it?

And vendors- do you have any other recommendations for brides on this topic?

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Ask Lauren: How Do You Turn Down Vendors? via


Founder & Editor at Every Last Detail
Lauren Grove is the editor and owner of Every Last Detail. A clueless bride-turned-wedding planner, Lauren uses her experiences and knowledge to educate and inspire brides all over the world.

One response to Ask Lauren: How Do You Turn Down Vendors?

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  1. Nikki (a Bride)

    I’m dealing with this situation right now and would love some insight. I met with an invitation maker and loved her work. We talked samples and deposits and she was going to get right to it. Until the end of the meeting she mentioned the cost per invite and it was exceptionally larger then I had expected. Not wanting to be rude we finished the meeting. But now I’m stick in the awkward position of having to tell her were going to use another vendor. I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings.

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