[Editor’s Note: I am SO excited to introduce you all to ELD’s newest contributors, Yun and Kevin of the fabulous groomsmen shop The Grunion Run! Yun and Kevin are joining the ELD team to share some wedding tips just for men with us over the next few months! I’ve seen it many times- guys are left clueless and have to fend for themselves when it comes to weddings! Well, ELD is all about educating about weddings, so of course I didn’t want to forget the male half of the wedding party! ;) So take it away Yun and Kevin!]
Guys, you did it. You planned the perfect moment that had your lady swooning with romance and squealing with delight at the gorgeous ring you stressed and stressed over to choose. Months of planning and sweating finally paid off. She said yes, the memories are forever sealed in your hearts and now you can relax, right? Nope! Sorry to tell you but the fun is only just beginning. While it’s true that brides are more often the ones who worry about the place settings, the invitations, and every minute detail of the wedding, grooms these days also have a responsibility to be involved and help with planning. Below we lay out the three main areas of wedding planning that a guy needs to think about, and don’t worry, it isn’t as dry as it looks — everything takes on a different meaning when you are going through the wedding planning process (you’ll find this out soon enough).
1. Family Planning:
This isn’t about deciding how many kids you are going to have and when (though that conversation also wouldn’t hurt to be had). No, when you are engaged, family planning is all about making sure that key family members and relatives who want to be involved, and need to feel like they are part of the wedding, are acknowledged and included in some manner. Aunt wants to help with decorations? Brother wants to build a canopy? Weddings are never just about the bride and groom so it’s important that you and your fiancee discuss early and often who should carry what role during the wedding planning process and the wedding day itself. This will help manage expectations for everyone involved and avoid any miscommunication between you and your bride.
Yun’s Tip: A bride’s mother is often an extension of the bride herself during wedding planning so make sure that she is always kept in the loop and up-to-date. Also, if parents are helping you with the budget, be sure to show them your wedding invitation before it goes to the printer. It’s a nice gesture and an easy way to make sure no feathers get unnecessarily ruffled.
Kevin’s Tip: Your fiancee’s father is about to watch someone else become the main man in his daughter’s life so include him where he is interested during this time. If appropriate, consider inviting him to part or all of your bachelor party.
2. Financial Planning:
Don’t worry, we’re not here to chat about 401K’s and retirement savings. Nor are we going to cover ALL the costs you have to consider during wedding planning. For you guys, we just want you to be aware that along with the wedding, there are going to be a few hidden costs that you need to keep in mind and budget for ahead of time. There will be gifts — for your groomsmen, oftentimes the parents, and most importantly, your bride. Bachelor party costs, honeymoon planning, and of course, clothing costs for all the coming events thrown in your honor (see below “Portfolio Planning”).
Yun’s Tip: Make sure to budget in a for a few nice dinners and date-nights out with your lady because sometimes in the midst of wedding planning, you can forget to take time for each other…plus, it may be a helpful way to calm your bride’s frazzled nerves when things get stressful which, ultimately will make things easier on you too!
Kevin’s Tip: It wouldn’t hurt to brush up on your accounting skills since it will help for you to be the budget and task master for the months ahead. Your bride is going to be consumed with lace and paper and all things pretty so every once in a while gently give her the update on where things stand budget-wise to avoid any difficult discussions later. If you are familiar with Excel or similar programs, create a spreadsheet that can easily calculate costs based on changing guest numbers and other details that will constantly fluctuate to affect the budget.
3. Portfolio Planning:
As you might have guessed by now, we’re not talking stocks and bonds, rather, we are referring to socks and belts, and shirts and pants…or really, style + grooming. During your engagement you have to consider all the wedding memories and photos that are going to be collected between now and the wedding. You might take engagement photos, and have engagement parties and wedding showers to attend (these days couples get showered as often as just the bride). You’ll get your photo taken a million times before you even hit your wedding day so you want to make sure that throughout this planning process you keep up with your fitness and grooming, and make sure your closet has a few key pieces that you can draw on for events of varying nature.
Yun’s Tip: A crisp pair of dark denim, one pair of dress pants (no pleats please!), a couple stylish shirts, and some cool neckwear should get you through this planning period.
Kevin’s Tip: Don’t be afraid to experiment and inject your own personality into your style. Make a statement with an awesome dinner jacket or colorful bow tie.
All images by Paul Wax, via The Grunion Run
We’ll be back in the coming weeks to talk in even more detail about some of the topics mentioned above (style, grooming, gift-giving, and more)! Good luck and remember, your wedding is going to rock!
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So do we have any grooms here? Are you ready to start your wedding planning?
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“Your bride is going to be consumed with lace and paper and all things
pretty so every once in a while gently give her the update on where
things stand budget-wise to avoid any difficult discussions later.”
I’m sorry, I really find this rather insulting.
Do you seriously think that the bride is automatically swept off the
fairy tale land the moment a ring is on her finger with no regard for
budgets and reality? Being good with budgets or party planning has
nothing to do with gender. In some couples the guy is the financial
planner, and in others it’s the girl, but to just assume a girl getting
married is unable to stick to a budget is ridiculous.
Hi Laura…we apologize if we offended…we really didn’t mean to. This column was just meant as a light-hearted quick tip guide for guys to figure out a place where they can be helpful in wedding planning. When we were planning our wedding, while Yun was very conscious of the budget and looked very carefully at the prices of everything, there were just so many moving parts and things to plan that often, the total budget was obscured so it helped to have Kevin keep track and update as planning went along. We are not trying to suggest that girls can’t keep track or aren’t aware of what the budget is — just sometimes it helps to have one person (be it the girl or the guy) be in charge of certain aspects and the other in charge of other things. Again, not meant to offend. Just trying to help guys be as involved as they can in the wedding planning process…and to enjoy it!
Great tips! Love getting the groom involved, and if nothing else, to be a constant reminder of why all of this planning and stress is happening. I think the date-night reminders are a huge thing to remember, and will definitely help the bride and groom spend time together that’s not so wedding focused. Can’t wait to see more advice on the “portfolio.” I know my groom needs that help!
Very helpful insights. This will definitely help the guys plan their own wedding.