Looking back, I wish my wedding had been a little bit different than it actually was. It’s kind of the reason I started blogging– so brides didn’t make the same mistakes I did. Well, for the past couple of days I’ve found myself thinking the thought, “If I could do it all again I would have….”. And so I thought I’d share these things so maybe I can help out another bride!
I Would Have….
… researched vendors outside of my small town.
… not had our wedding only 3 weeks after finishing school.
… started reading blogs earlier on in my planning.
… had cuter, more comfortable shoes.
… been more specific with what I wanted for centerpieces.
… seen samples of linens.
… had custom invitations made.
… been more clear with my husband and his friends to not drink the night before the wedding. A semi-hungover groom is not the greatest. Medical difficulties resulting from said drinking are even worse (long story-maybe I’ll share one day).
… had less bridesmaids. 9 is just way too many to keep track of.
… used Wedding Wire to look up reviews of my vendors.
… NOT had brown as one of my wedding colors.
… changed my wedding colors to reflect my personality better, instead of going with the safe option.
… asked to see my centerpieces before the wedding.
… had chivari chairs.
… had an excellent videographer/cinematographer.
… done more DIY- and plan the time for it.
… had less guests. 20o guests is just way too many people. Which leads me to the next one…
… spent more time enjoying the actual wedding.
Basically, I would have done just about everything differently. I attribute me having all of these “regrets” to the fact that I was incredibly busy during the time that I was planning my wedding. I wasn’t able to do enough research and know exactly what I wanted or how to convey it to my vendors. And so, I have regrets, all leading up to not having the amount of time I wanted to put in the planning. So the lesson learned here- look at your upcoming schedule when choosing your wedding date!
Does anyone who’s already had their wedding have any regrets? Share them here so brides can learn from your regrets too!
Lauren
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You know, I say that all the time. My big ones are – I would’ve had a better photographer and would’ve had a cinematographer record the ceremony. My photographer was ok, but now that I’m an avid reader of blogs (and have learned so much in three years since getting married), I see how much better the photography could’ve been. Also, my brother married us, so it would’ve been nice to have a recorded version of that to cherish forever. Oh, and I think I would’ve taken a better look at the ceremony site. There was a hideous arbor filled with lots of tulle and fake flowers that was used as our backdrop – I’d definitely get something else in there or dress it up entirely different. Oh well, maybe for a vow renewal down the road. :)
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren…. Oh… I so understand where you are coming from. Although I loved our wedding and we had a great time, I look back now and there are a host of things I would change.
We had 100 guests, but I would scale it back even further and use the extra $$$ to enhance my details. Also… my hair…. How I hated my hair. I even had a hair trail, but nothing could have prepared me for the hideousness that was my hair. I could not take the veil off all night in order to cover it up. Such a bummer.
My centerpieces and other little details would have been the main thing for me. There really is nothing like having cute details (DIY or otherwise)… they really make for great photos. :)
I have a few regrets from my wedding. Like you, I wish I had spent more time reading blogs and doing a little more research on my vendors. I was really focused on pictures and our choreographed dance (which I had to change dresses for). I wish I had been more focused on dancing with guests and enjoying the wedding. I also wish I had either changed back into my original dress or hadn’t changed at all. I’m sad that I don’t have more photos of me in my main dress with the guests, dancing, cutting the cake, etc. My second dress wasn’t that great, maybe it would have been better if I’d just taken the time to find a better second dress. All of that said, I’m still really happy with my wedding. I married my best friend with my family and friends present and I’d never change that! I try to forget the things I would change and focus on the positive aspects of the day. :)
Great post, Lauren!
There are definitely things I would have changed about my wedding – in fact, I wrote them all down the day before my first wedding anniversary and am going to blog on this topic as well because I think it is important to pass our lessons onto future brides! As Helena says above, it’s important to focus on the positive aspects of the day. I try not to think about these things as “regrets” but just as lessons learned.
A few of mine:
– We paid $150 for a gorgeous orchid plant that was thrown away at the end of the night and never photographed!
– I ended up schlepping my own stuff out to the car before making our exit.
– I hung my wedding dress on a crappy ugly hanger.
… and more where that came from! Thanks for sharing your advice – we are making the world a better place for future brides!
Oy, I just wrote the longest comment and it got deleted.
Anyway, I said:
“I hope I wasn’t one of those should-have-been-cut bridesmaids! Haha.
Also, I know that you have some regrets and this is what makes you so great at what you do – you are a perfectionist! I hope you know that your wedding was truly one of the most beautiful events I’ve ever attended so don’t bog yourself down with too many regrets. Yes, you certainly had things to be frustrated about (ahh…memories), but you handled yourself with class throughout everything. And, for the record – I loved your centerpieces!!!”
I just got married in April and I loved most things about my wedding. The one major thing I would have changed would have been to have a different photographer. I was quite disappointed. We used a friend of the family as our photographer and she does wedding photography but she was so SLOW. We thought she was a great option and she gave us a discount because we are friends. BIG MISTAKE. I would have much rather paid more for someone else that would have done the job that way I wanted. The pictures we received aren’t bad and they’re very pretty, but it took us almost 3 MONTHS to get them after the wedding! I was furious. But about the wedding day itself… During the getting ready she was literally in the way. We had to ask her to step aside several times. Then after the ceremony taking portrait shots she took forever. We took what seemed like tons of pictures of the bridal party and yet I don’t have any pictures of extended families. And I have no goofy pictures of me and my bridesmaids or my husband and his groomsman. Also, the pictures I wanted the most of were ones of just me and my husband. I wanted to go outside to take them but we ran out of time because she took forever. We have a few pictures of the two of us inside the church, but not many. We showed up almost an HOUR late for our reception because of the pictures. And then she had the nerve to ask us if we wanted to go take more pictures instead of dancing and enjoying spending time with everyone. Needless to say we enjoyed ourselves and took pictures later of just the two of us dressed up with a different photographer!
I think alot of brides feel this way after the fact. I would have had WAY more DIY details! I made my invitations, centerpeices, and crystal tree but there are so many cute ideas out there now and I wish I followed blogs more closely! Also, I would have done something completely unique and had more fun options for guests to participate in during the wedding. Photobooths are great! Also, we had the music CUT OUT at the end of our first dance which was awkward and my priest couldn’t pronounce my name right…grrr. I guess it is things like that which make it unique….well, I will keep telling myself that! LOL
My biggest regret wasn’t something from a vendor or DIY – my problem was one of the guests. Sometimes you know someone that has an ugly personality but you invite them anyway because of an old-fashioned sense of obligation or etiquette.
If I were to do it again, I would definitely have omitted her and saved myself the heartache!
Remember that a wedding is to be surrounded by the near and dear, not toxics! :)
My one regret – I would have had a second dress for the reception. I had a really nice dress with train for church, which was perfect. But, it needed to be bustled, of course, and the bustle didn’t hold up to my dancing. I also took off my heels and then was tripping on the dress. My dress was so cheap that I could have bought another dress, one with no train that was hemmed for flats.
I would definitely have cut two bridesmaids out. Sad to say we’re not really friends anymore :( I think I asked them because I didn’t want to hurt any feelings but ended up getting mine hurt instead.
I would also have invited less people. I was following pressures and obligations and should have made it more about me.
I loved loved loved most of my vendors especially my photographer! One I was disappointed with was the cake person. They’re really well known and the cake tasted fabulous but they were two hours late into the reception and they didn’t even apologize. I would have done more homework and found out about such sites as weddingwire.com where I would have learned quickly about my cake maker and avoided that headache.
Finally, seeing as my wedding was before the influx of great blogs, including this one, I give myself a bit of a break but today I’d definitely add more details :)
Hi Lauren, I am a wedding planner in Tampa and I really like your blog. I usually just check it out and don’t post, but I really understand where you are coming from here. I was married almost 3 years ago and our wedding was perfect except – we didn’t hire a videographer. It is my one regret because my wedding day was amazing but I don’t feel like the photos capture enough, especially now that I’ve been a planner a few years and seen so many amazing videos. I also would have reserved a little more time to take some photos with my new husband. So everyone out there, if you are thinking of skipping the video, my advice is just do it! You won’t regret it, it’s worth the extra money in the end.
Lauren, i too do not comment very much, but this post really brought out the Bride in me. Like Shawna, i too am a wedding planner who once got married and have regrets about the options I chose. We were married in Cancun, Mexico and the first regret I had upon arrival is that we didn’t take a scouting trip prior to our wedding week. Ladies, there is no internet picture or review that can do justice to a real hands-on walk through…especially in a foreign country! The second thing i regret are pictures and videography. “If i had it to do again”…i would have put the bulk of my budget towards a really great photographer and videographer. Instead, i have a handful of photos that I like from our “family” photographer and a shakey video taken by my nephew. These are your memories that will fade over time….it’s worth the investment!
Regrets, Regrets! It’s funny that when you start helping other brides you do think back and wish things were different at yours. I go back and forth and think, should have, could have, but it was a beautiful wedding. But there is always a 10 year vow renewal or 20, 30….or even 50 yr anniversary to get everything you didn’t do! :)
I’ve planned a wedding once before (it was a broken engagement) and i feel so much more prepared for the wedding i’ll have in the future because i got to experience a “trial” engagement. the mistakes that i would’ve made were 1. the glaringly obvious one-the groom 2. the bridesmaids (my friends wanted me to have a bridal party even though i was against it). we aren’t even friends anymore 3. inviting people because they expected to be invited 4. choosing an inflexible ceremony site (pretentious hotel) 5. settling for a dress that i didn’t love and hoping to “alter it into my dream”.